Does anyone mind if I practice my cannonballs?

Well, I said a few weeks ago I would do better about posting. Turns out I did worse. I would like to have a solid excuse like I was inventing a pillow that was always cool or a dog that stays a puppy (body wise not mind wise). Instead I have been watching a lot of Christmas movies and eating pizza. (Side note: If you haven’t watched the Home Alones back to back already then you need to get your life together. I’ll wait… )

Ok, are you back? Those Wet/Sticky Bandits never knew what hit them.

Another reason I have posted is because I wanted to wait until I got my fancy professional shave. However, I found out that they only shave on Saturdays and Sundays. It is kind of a weird business model to be a shaving store and only shave two days a week but whatever. Shout outs to TJ and Ellen Hurt for the gift card. Make sure to write it off on your taxes.

(Fellow facial hair lovers)

For those of you that are still confused why I grow a mustache in November…

I do it to raise money/awareness for an organization call Movember. The proceeds go to things like prostate and ball cancer. I am not sure what a prostate does because I think finding out would age me significantly. I can tell you that cancer in it is bad news and everyone hates bad news.

(Noteworthy, but not the reason for Movember.)

To donate to my Movember page go to the link below, you can donate year round:

http://us.movember.com/mospace/492653/

My bosses have made a post-November rule that I can’t grow a mustache next year if I don’t raise $200 this year. I pointed out that I can’t wait to receive their donations and then another rule was put in place that their donations didn’t count towards my $200 goal. Seems fair, right? I like having facial hair no matter how ridiculous I look so I need some buck here people. Remember it is a tax write off.

Shout Outs:

Thanks to Hayley and Chancey Williamson for their donation.

Thanks to Mark and Lucy Doggett for their donation.

(Double mustache in this picture.)

(Hide yo kids, hide yo wife...(that is a continuation joke from last year))

(Coco made the blog twice this year.)

(Luigi?)

This is my last two weeks growth:

(Someone was just going to throw this tree out. It looks nice in my office.)

(I get sad when it gets dark so early.)

(Tiger uppercut)

Like I said up top, TJ and Ellen bought me a shave. It was like a guy's version of going to the nail salon.

(I have never been so comfortable with another man massaging my mustache.)

Oh and the barber is still a back up dancer for Vanilla Ice. This is the Vanilla Ice sign. Until next year....Word to your mothers.

The Return of Uncle Mustache

Ok, so I am already off to a bad start. Last year I posted once a week to update my week’s growth and entertain you all with my stories of being an American inspiration (or something like that). Also people (no one) loved (was more apathetic) when I wrote super inside jokes in what were probably already inside jokes of an inside joke. Inception might owe me some royalties. This year we are over two weeks in and this is my first post. Bad start, I know. But as Brandon (my boss) always says, “You don't have to be good to start, you have to start to be good.”

Last year you all went to my Movember page and donated and we raised somewhere between $100 and $100,000 depending on how you prefer to round. This year is no different so let’s see if we can beat that number, which we should since a lot of people have said they would double up on me (for WP) this year since they forgot last year.

FAQs:

What is Movember?

Movember challenges men to change their appearance and the face of men’s health by growing a moustache. The rules are simple, start Movember 1st clean-shaven and then grow a moustache for the entire month. The moustache becomes the ribbon for men’s health, the means by which awareness and funds are raised for cancers that affect men. Much like the commitment to run or walk for charity, the men of Movember commit to growing a moustache for 30 days.

(FYI, I cheated and started 3 days early. Everyone knows I hate to shave on the weekend.)

Why Movember then?

My Granddad died from complications of prostate cancer. I never knew him to have a moustache but he built things and did things that are pretty manly. Since I am not as manly, I have to grow a moustache to compensate.

(He drew, cut, glued/nailed and painted this for me in about an hour. I am not making that up. This really is on my wall in my living room.)

What does your wife think of your moustache?

That question makes me think you hate my moustache so my wife should too. However, she hasn’t said it in so many words but I imagine she loves it. Most nights she tucks me into bed and gently combs it with a tiny brush until I fall asleep. Who could hate that?

Why is it Uncle Mustache but you write moustache?

Because I don't really love to write moustache but I play along for Movember. UM is too cool for school and does not participate.

Shout Outs: Thanks for all the support, guys. Weird all your moustaches grew so quickly.

On to my how it is going…the good news is I don’t have to wear a suit every day I am growing my moustache now, the bad news is now you have to look at the terrible polos I wear everyday and never ever wash. Hooray!

(Let the creeping begin.)

(Actual Work)

(Classic Friday Shirt)

(Sick Day 1)

(Sick Day 2)

(Clearly it wasn't my best week)

I promise to do better going forward. And I will be sooooo funny and we can all laugh about it when we talk about last night's episode of Glee!

It is that time of year again!

As you all (Hen and Big Pyle) know, last year I grew a mustache in November to raise money (and get to grow facial hair at work) for Movember. Last week, I asked Kelly, the owner of my company, if I still had to wear a suit every day I grew my mustache. His response was (In Kelly Earls voice),"Why would you still want to do that?" and a few other lines about being a hippie and immature. What he didn't realize last year was that I am like a child getting their first taste of cake on their birthday. Not only do I now expect to get that cake every year but I expect for it to be bigger and better than last year's. So here we are just a few weeks away. What I am going to do this year is give the people the choice of which mustache style I go with this year. Now remember I only have 30 days to grow it so that rules out most of the cool mustaches. So these for the most part are your options, at the end of October whichever has the most votes in the comments wins.

Handle Bar
Pencil
Mini Horseshoe
Pyramidal
Chevron
Full Horseshoe
Walrusish
I made bad life decisions

Stolen Pictures, your buns are up.

I had these in 7th grade...my mom wouldn't buy me the Air Max Penny. I am ashamed to tell you how many Air Max Pennys I own now...I blame my Mom. Just like people on Oprah.

I will buy this car for Shayna one day.

These are the Air Max Pennys I was talking about before...

I in Team

I want to buy these for Bear but I can't find her size (cheap).